My cancer research

I have been trying to refine my diagnosis a little bit, to narrow it down to a specific kind of cancer so that I can then determine the best course of action, as far as fighting it, that is specific to me, my biological make up and my current physical condition. It is challenging, to say the least.

I have learned that cancer is heterogeneous, not just in it's interaction with the individual but also in general. My cancer, if observed under a microscope next to another person's, would exhibit certain characteristics specific to me, which means I own it, and as far as I am concerned, if I own it; I can control it. The diagnosis is done through pattern recognition (microscopic observation) not molecular testing. That testing is generally reserved for researchers who are trying to understand cancer as an entity of itself in an attempt to learn how to precisely diagnose it by cause rather than by anatomic location or physical symptoms. I've been reading a lot and asking a lot of questions and I think that I've learned that cancer is the interaction of a cell that is no longer under growth control with it's environment, like the weeds on your lawn, it's similar to the grass, but not the same, and chokes out the healthy growth around it. I listened to a lecture given by a cancer Doctor recently and in it he said; "change the soil and you affect the growth". That statement, along with others, has stuck with me.

Holy shit, I've been reading too much, I am a wordy fuck.

Anyway, I think the point I'm trying to make here is that I have not given up. I am actively seeking positive action which will create positive results. The whole "imminent death" thing has been weighing on my mind quite a bit recently and I've been fighting it in many different ways, one of which is by researching the actionable possibilities for my continued existence on this planet. I am still having a difficult time kicking cigarettes but it will come, and I'm not convinced that in the short term it really matters, although that is part of "changing the soil", as long as I quit them soon. I have made other changes though, with my diet, taking supplements, sleep (still blissful, I may never take it for granted again) and exercise. I believe that I am getting closer to finding the "secret formula" that will work for me, to extend my life for as long as possible.

I am optimistic about, and looking forward to, the future; particularly this spring and summer. I plan on touching base with friends and Family whom I've been neglecting, or at least I feel I have anyway, and I look forward to rectifying that situation.